Archive for the ‘Love of God’ Tag

Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, And Colossians   Leave a comment

Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, And Colossians – Article – Andrew Wommack Ministries

The driving force behind all that I’ve done and taught is an absolute assurance that God loves me. He didn’t just love me before I committed some of my stupid acts, or He won’t just love me in the future when I get my act together. He loves me right now, independent of any worth of my own. It’s an unconditional love, not based on my performance. Therefore, I am assured it will continue.

God’s love for us is based on Him being love (1 John 4:8), not on our being lovable. That’s wonderful news that most Christians and people in the world have not heard. Most people think that they have to do something to earn God’s favor; therefore, not many people have much hope of ever measuring up.

The Gospel, as it is being presented today, actually drives people away from the Lord. Instead of telling people what the Lord has done for them, people preach about what we must do for the Lord. Many people are told that God’s acceptance and favor are conditional, based on them measuring up to His standard. This is not the truth. God’s true nature and love have not been accurately portrayed.

The only thing that God demands of us is faith in the atoning work of Jesus Christ. This is such a radical truth that evokes such a response of love from us that the rest of the Christian life is nothing but a response to what Christ has done for us, not an effort to get Christ to respond to us. Praise the Lord! That’s awesome!

The Apostle Paul is the one who really brought this truth to light. Jesus demonstrated the grace of God as no one ever had before, but the Apostle Paul is the one the Lord used to give an understanding of this truth in Scripture. Paul shocked the religious people of his day by proclaiming justification apart from performance. The religious leaders couldn’t comprehend this. How could they control people if they couldn’t demand performance in exchange for God’s blessing? What would make the people do the right things?

Paul’s answer to these questions was that their love for God would compel them to live holier accidentally than they ever did on purpose. Love is a greater motivator than fear of punishment or rejection; however, the leaders of Paul’s day and the majority of the religious leaders today have totally rejected these claims.

It is commonly preached that God withdraws from us when we do wrong and draws closer as we do better. That is just another way of saying that He gives us what we deserve.

Of course, none of us really deserve anything from the Lord, so there must be a little bit of grace mixed with our performance to make this palatable to the masses. In Romans, Paul makes it clear that this theory doesn’t wash. Romans 11:6 says that it’s either all grace or all works, but not a mixture of the two. We are either acceptable to God based on what we do or on what our Lord Jesus Christ did for us — not a combination of the two. It has to be one way or the other.

The deadliest weapon against the true Gospel is not a total denial of its claims but an addition of other terms or conditions to the only thing that Jesus demanded: faith. Faith in Jesus plus nothing equals total victory. Faith in Jesus plus anything else equals failure. Our faith in Jesus alone is the key to experiencing all of God’s best.

This was the whole thrust of Paul’s teaching in his letter to the Galatians. The Christians in Galatia had received Christ as their Lord through Paul’s ministry and were genuinely saved, but legalistic Jews convinced them that faith in Jesus alone wasn’t enough to be in right standing with God. They were also told that they needed to live holy, according to the Jewish standard of holiness, or they would be lost. Paul attacked that doctrine with a vengeance.

The book of Galatians is one of the hardest hitting books in the Bible. Paul doesn’t mince any words. He tells it like it is, in almost brutal terms. He didn’t do this to hurt the Galatians but because of his great love for them. He considered this truth of the grace of God to be the heart and soul of the Gospel; therefore, any compromising on this issue was unacceptable. There is no true salvation apart from absolute faith in Christ alone. It was Paul’s great love for the Galatians that compelled him to invoke curses on any who would pervert the Gospel.

The book of Ephesians is a much gentler letter, but it proclaims the same great truths. Paul starts this letter with a prayer for the Ephesians, that they would receive wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of what they have in Christ. We have already been given everything in Christ. Why should we try and work for something that we already have? That doesn’t make sense. It’s just a matter of believing and receiving, not working and earning.

In Ephesians, Paul reveals that we are saved by grace through faith and not of ourselves. He also reveals that experiencing the love of God will fill us completely with all the fullness of God. If we aren’t experiencing the fullness of God in our lives, then we aren’t experiencing God’s love in its entirety. The unconditional love of God is the key. Actions are a byproduct of love, not the other way around.

Paul didn’t promote ungodly living. He promoted a relationship with the Lord independent of our worthiness. Once an individual comes into relationship with the Lord by faith alone, it becomes the nature of that person to live holy as love becomes the motivator. In the book of Ephesians, Paul exhorts the Ephesians to live holy, but from the positive motivation of love instead of the negative motivation of punishment that is so common today.

The book of Philippians gives tremendous insight into the personal life of the Apostle Paul. This letter was written to Paul’s biggest supporters and some of his best friends in the ministry. He praised God for their partnership in the Gospel, and he bared his heart to them. He revealed that he was not only willing to die for the sake of Christ, but he was actually looking forward to doing so. He was actually in a struggle as to whether he should stay in this world so he could preach the Gospel or just go on to be with the Lord, which he would much rather do.

How could Paul say such things? How can a person reach a point to where their own life is not the most important thing to them? Paul gives the answers to these questions to his friends in Philippi. He learned how to be content. It didn’t come naturally. He chose to be the way he was. The key was that he had died. You can’t threaten, intimidate, or kill a dead man. Paul was dead to himself and alive to God.

How did this happen? It was through the love of God. Paul had such a revelation of the unconditional love of God that it caused him to die to himself and to all his own desires. The love of Christ constrained him to live the way he did. No law could ever do that. No rule or regulation is worth dying for. It was the personal relationship he had with the living Lord Jesus Christ that caused him to count all of his accomplishments as dung in comparison.

Although written from prison, Paul’s letter to the Philippians has more references to joy and rejoicing than any of his other letters. Paul told us to rejoice in the Lord always. Just in case this seemed so impossible that people would think Paul surely made a mistake, he said it again. It is only when we find our identities in what Jesus has done for us, and not in what we do for Him, that we can experience joy unspeakable and full of glory.

In the book of Colossians, Paul reminds the believers in Colosse that they have already been made worthy to partake of the inheritance Christ bought for them. They’ve already been placed in Christ’s kingdom and are heirs to all His benefits. Understanding this is the foundation of faith. All the deception that the enemy uses against us violates this fundamental principle. Understanding our completeness in Christ as a total work of grace voids the power of the devil. The only real power the devil ever had against us was our sins. They have been dealt with through the atoning work of Christ.

We are already seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. We aren’t headed toward victory. We are coming from a victory — Christ’s total victory over the devil. Colossians is a powerful book that describes victorious Christian living.

These four letters that Paul wrote reveal some of the most powerful truths about the grace of God in the Bible. They provide practical understanding as to how God can love us unconditionally and still be just. Feelings fluctuate, but facts fix our hearts in truth. These letters will help establish you in the unconditional love and grace of God.

Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, And Colossians – Article – Andrew Wommack Ministries

As I Have Loved You – Article – Andrew Wommack Ministries   Leave a comment

Please listen to this teaching series on: http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1077. You will be blessed beyond your expectations.

As I Have Loved You – Article from Andrew Wommack

Imagine the night before Jesus’ crucifixion. He has communion with His disciples and washes their feet. He reveals that Judas is the one who will betray Him. He tells the disciples that He is leaving and they can’t come. Then, He speaks these words:

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. (John 13:34-35)

By virtue of the fact that this would be, in part, His final words to the disciples, they had to be very important. And notice that what He said to them was in the form of a command, not a suggestion.

I am sure that everyone reading this letter has read or heard this passage many times. But in reality, most do not think that this is something they can actually do. It’s a goal that they may strive to reach with gritted teeth, but usually with little success.

It begs the question—would Jesus give His disciples a command He knew they couldn’t keep? The answer is obviously no, so why is it so hard for us today to love other people? Could it be this simple—we can’t give what we don’t have?

The majority of churches are teaching that God’s love for us is conditional. They are misrepresenting His love, and it is one of the main reasons that we as Christians are so judgmental and harsh toward other people. Consciously or not, we tend to treat people the way we believe God is treating us.

We must understand that God does not love us because we are lovely. He does not love us because we read the Bible, go to church, pay our tithes, or do our best to keep the command to love others as He loved us. The truth is that He loves us without conditions. That’s huge!

I grew up in a Baptist church where all that was preached was the message of evangelism. They made me feel like I had to pay God back for saving me by leading others to Jesus. It became such a part of me that I used to say this: “The sole purpose for our existence here on this earth is to lead somebody else to Jesus.”

Then the Lord spoke this to me—“If evangelism is the sole purpose for your existence, then what about Adam and Eve? They had no one to lead to the Lord, no Sunday school class to teach, no one to pray for, and no physical need of any kind.” The answer can be found in Revelation 4:11— Thou artworthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power; for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

The original purpose of all creation was to give God pleasure. And that is still God’s purpose. Adam and Eve were created for fellowship with God. He wanted someone to love and for them to voluntarily love Him back.

God’s purpose for creating human beings was all about relationship. But religion has succeeded at turning us from “human beings” into “human doings.” When that becomes the focus, we begin to tie God’s love for us to something that we do for Him. I did! But that was never His plan.

Over the years, I have prayed for thousands of people. The vast majority of those who come forward begin by telling me about their spiritual lives: “I’ve been praying, fasting, reading the Bible, and attending church, but I’m still not healed.” They don’t realize it, but they just told me why they weren’t healed. They’re pointing to what they are doing instead of what Jesus has done.

The same is true about our relationship with the Lord and with other people. We have come to believe that God loves us and acts on our behalf based on our performance. Therefore, we hold others to the same standard—our love for them is in direct proportion to their works, or how they treat us.

Romans 5:8 says, But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

God’s love has never been or ever will be conditional. He loved you at your worst, and most Christian churches would agree with that initially. They believe you are saved by grace through faith, no matter your history, but that is often where grace stops and religion starts. And religion always puts the emphasis on the external.

Once you’re saved, religion says you must live holy, and the evidence of your holiness will likely be judged by the standards of your church: Do you dress the right way, do you say the right things, are you leading people to Jesus, and most important, are you tithing—just to give a few examples.

That is not how God sees us. God looks on the heart. First Samuel 16:6-7 says this: And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the Lord’s anointed is before him. But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.

Samuel was going to choose Eliab to replace King Saul because of the outward appearances. But God was not looking on the outside. The church today is judging believers in the same way. You might carouse in secret on Saturday night, but as long as you come to church the next morning well kempt and well dressed with a check in your hand, you’re accepted because you have the appearance of holiness.

Under the New Covenant, God is still concerned about your actions and behavior. It’s not okay to lie, to steal, to commit adultery, or any other sin. However, He knows that those are nothing more than the byproduct of a relationship—or the lack of one—with Him. So, He is focused on your heart.

As long as you believe God is judging you according to your performance, you will never fully receive His love. Love is a decision, and God decided to love you even though you didn’t deserve it. There is nothing you can do to earn it or deserve it, so just receive it as a free gift.

When you understand how much God loves you, it becomes easy to love others. And when you love others as He has loved you, your behavior will change toward them. If you loved your mate the way that Christ loves you—unconditionally—you would never commit adultery. If you loved your neighbor as Christ loves you, you would never steal from them or bear false witness against them.

How does the world know that we are disciples of Christ? John 13:35 says, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

Did you know that the first-century church evangelized the known world in thirty years? They didn’t have television, the internet, smart phones, or texting. But they loved one another, and that love was so evident; it attracted people like honey attracts bees.

A Pharisee who was a lawyer asked Jesus this question: “Which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus answered this in Matthew 22:37-40. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

The Pharisees wanted Jesus to name the most important “Thou shalt not,” and instead, Jesus spoke “Thou shalt.” Many believers are still living under the Old Testament Law mentality. They are trying to earn the love of a God who already made the decision to love them unconditionally.

Once you begin to understand how much God loves you, love will flow out of you toward others like rivers of living water.

Have You Taken Your Love Break Today?   Leave a comment

Have You Taken Your Love Break Today? – Joseph Prince Ministries

John 15:9; “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.

In your workplace, you probably take coffee breaks, lunch breaks, tea breaks and definitely toilet breaks. Why not do the same in your spiritual life—take time out for breaks, especially love breaks?

What is a love break? It is the time you take to enjoy and feed on the love of Jesus for you. At any time during the day, wherever you are, find a quiet spot and feed on the love of Jesus. Just sit down and talk to Him. Say to Him, “Thank You, Jesus, for loving me. Nothing is going to happen to me that You don’t already know about. Jesus, when I could not save myself, You died for me. You gave up Your life for me. What else will You not do for me!”

Such love breaks are typified in the Old Testament by Aaron the high priest and his sons eating the breast of the animal sacrificed. (Leviticus 7:31) The breast of the animal speaks of the love of Jesus. Today, you are a priest to God. (Revelation 1:6) So spend time feeding on the love of Jesus for you, and see yourself nourished, strengthened and sustained by His love. Jesus is our High Priest today. This means that His food is in loving us. He enjoys loving us and is also “nourished” by His love for us.

But do not forget that the breast was roasted by fire (Leviticus 7:35), which speaks of God’s judgment on Jesus as He hung on the cross because He was carrying our sins. So as you feed on Jesus’ love for you, see Him loving you at the cross. When things around you are not going well, do not allow the devil to say to you, “If God loves you, how come these things are happening to you?” My friend, interpret God’s love for you based on the cross, not on your present circumstances.

During the day, when you are hard at work, when busyness sets in, when problems pile up or when discouragement comes, just stop everything and take a love break with Jesus! Let Jesus love you. Let yourself enjoy being loved by Him. Lean on His bosom, abide in His love and be nourished by His love for you!

Believe and Receive God’s Love   Leave a comment

Believe and Receive God’s Love

Creflo Dollar

During Jesus’ earthly ministry, He received confirmation of the Father’s love. Matthew 3:16, 17 states, “And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: And lo, a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” God wants us to experience His love and be deeply rooted and established in it (Ephesians 3:14-17). When we acknowledge His love for us as individuals, we have the fullness of Him (Ephesians 3:18, 19). Our confidence in God’s love opens the door for blessings beyond what we can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).

There are some messages that I just weep over because God continues to show me another degree of His love. Miraculous things happen for people who really grasp the reality of His unconditional love. I believe this is the master key for constant victory in our lives.

We have victory through our union with the Holy Spirit. When we became born again, our spirits were sealed with the Holy Spirit, and He poured the love of God into our hearts (Romans 5:5). Our divine teacher shows us more and more about how much God loves us, strengthening our spirits with that love. He is ever reminding us of God’s love for us, and because of His love, we can properly love others.

On the other hand, Satan wants to convince us that God doesn’t love us. For example, when Satan came to tempt Jesus, he did not say “beloved Son” when he mentioned Jesus being the Son of God (Matthew 4:3). Whenever we receive bad news, Satan immediately goes to work to convince us that God has abandoned us. However, when the enemy presents these lies to us, we must remember that we are God’s beloved. Nothing can ever change our status or take away His unfailing love. Therefore, whenever the enemy tries to convince you that God doesn’t love you, remind him that you are His beloved son or daughter. Although fear may be knocking at the door of your heart, you don’t have to let it in. You can open your mouth and declare the truth that nothing can separate you from the love of God!

I want to encourage you to examine the many ways God expresses His love for you. Whether He has delivered you from financial problems, turmoil in your marriage, issues on your job, or any other major crisis, don’t forget to give Him all the glory and praise when you succeed! With every success you have, every obstacle you come through, and every victory you win, know without a shadow of a doubt that it is because of God’s endless love for you.

For more on receiving God’s love, click the link below for my single message The Law of Love vs. Grace.

http://store.creflodollarministries.org/p-9716-the-law-of-love-vs-grace.aspx

The Veil is Torn   Leave a comment

THE VEIL IS TORN – From Andrew Wommack

Luke 23:45 "And the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst."

The veil spoken of here reached from the ceiling to the floor, from wall to wall, and separated the Holy of Holies from the holy place in the temple. Solomon’s temple was 30 cubits high (1 Ki. 6:2), but Herod increased the height to 40 cubits according to the writings of Josephus, a first century historian. Therefore, depending on what standard you use to convert cubits to feet (there is uncertainty as to exactly what a cubit equaled in our feet and inches), this veil was somewhere between 60 feet and 90 feet high.

It is significant that this veil was rent from top to bottom (Mt. 27:51; Mk. 15:38). No man could have torn the veil in this fashion. It was definitely God that rent the veil. The time when this veil was rent corresponds exactly with the moment Jesus died.

Hebrews 9:1-9 tells us that the veil separated the Holy of Holies, where God dwelt, from the rest of the temple, where men dwelt. This signified that man was separated from God by sin (Isa. 59:1-2). Only the high priest was permitted to pass beyond this veil, and only once each year (Ex. 30:10; Heb. 9:7). This symbolized the Christ who would enter into God’s presence for us and make an atonement.

The moment that Christ died, the veil was torn in two, revealing that the sacrifice had been made and that there is no longer any separation between God and man. Jesus tore the veil, that is to say His flesh (Heb. 10:20), in two and opened up a new way unto God through Himself.

Let Jesus’s Love Be Your Motivation   Leave a comment

This scripture in 1 Corinthians 13 says it all. Isn’t is a shame we can do all those good things and it profit us nothing. We can understand all mysteries and all knowledge and it won’t profit us because there is no love. We can speak so eloquent and deliver a great sermon, but without love it don’t profit us. We can tithe each pay check and give all our stuff to the poor, and without love it profits us nothing. We can believe God for anything and every thing and have faith to move any mountain or problem, but without love there is no profit. We can get so blinded by the good works we do and think we have arrived or it will take us to Heaven, but without love, that won’t happen. The greatest profit is to accept Jesus and what He did. That’s His grace. And His grace IS Love. Jesus is the way to Heaven; Jesus’s Love is the way to Heaven, not worldly success, not a great career, not being a great father or mother. Not tithing, not giving your body to be burned. There’s a scripture where Jesus gives a parable about people trying to get into Heaven by telling Him of all they’ve done such as healing others, casting out demons, prophesying in His name; But the Lord Jesus rejects them (Matthew 7:21-23; Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity).

The works mentioned above are good things to do, but again without love there is no profit. We should do those things in the name of Jesus, but with God’s Agape love. So many get caught up if they hear a good sermon that person has to have love in their hearts. Not so. The Apostle, Paul even wrote about preaching to others and can still be a castaway (rejected; reprobate; unapproved). 1 Corinthians 9:27; But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. Wouldn’t that be a shame to do all that work and lose the greatest benefit, the greatest reward, Heaven because you did it all without Love. 

Here’s another story in the Bible about the importance of a person’s motives. Just because a person preach does a good sermon doesn’t mean they have Love (Matthew 7:15; Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves). There was a man, a false prophet, in the old testaments who the Lord God commanded to bless the children of Israel because his plan was to go and curse them. His name was Balaam. Balaam was instructed by an evil king (Balak) to curse the children of Israel (Numbers 22-24). But God told him not to do so. But he had no love in his heart toward them. In the end that good work did not save him and he was killed later (Read Numbers 31:8). Just because God uses you does not mean you have love. That is a bold statement to make but it is true. There are so many people we follow that have done the right things and spoke the right messages but their motives are not from love. The Word of God tells us to try (discern) every spirit. We follow people by their works, not by their hearts. The only one who knows the heart of a man is the Lord. So the one to show you their heart is the Lord. Have you ever heard a good word, but you felt something wasn’t right about the person? That’s the Lord telling you their heart isn’t right. Their motives aren’t right… Ask the Lord what’s in that person’s heart. The Lord will show you if their motivation is love. The Lord God tells us He looks at the heart, whereas we look at the outer (1 Samuel 16:7; But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart).

Jesus says the world will know His disciples because of the love they have for one another (John 13:34-35; A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.t and follow them if they are following the ways of the Lord Jesus).

Let the Love of Jesus Christ be your motivation. A while back the Lord was teaching me about love. The Holy Spirit of God told me to let my light shine. He was teaching me how to love those who persecuted me. Then that some day I received a devotional email through Andrew Wommack and the topic was “Love”. While reading this email it stated how oil was used to light a lamp, but each time I saw oil, the Lord showed me the word Love. Us walking in Jesus’s Love is what gives us that light, just like oil gives light to a lamp. Then the Lord’s Holy Spirit directed me to the scripture about the 10 young virgins in Matthew 25. There were five wise and five foolish virgins. The foolish five took their lamps with no oil, whereas the wise five took their lamps with oil. When the Bridegroom was coming the foolish five ask the wise for their oil. But it was too late. When you think about Jesus’s love, that’s something that cannot be bought. We can spend so much time doing all the right works, but missing out on the most important; which is having the Love of Jesus. Also, remember the thief on the cross. He accepted Jesus at that last moment and the Lord said he will be with Him. But that thief did none of the works so many think that’s a ticket to Heaven. Yes, the works are good, but the greatest and the most powerful is LOVE… So when you prophesy, cast out demons, give your tithes, give to the poor, etc., do it in Jesus’s Love and not what you can get out of it. You may ask how can I have that Love. Well, 1st accept He loves you. He loves you right now with all your quirks and bad ways. God did not say He sent His only Son to die for us while we were living right. He sent His Son to die for us while we were sinning. So many look at Love being weak, but it’s the opposite. Love is what brought Jesus on the earth to die for all our us. For God loved the world so much that He sent His ONLY Son to die for us… Let’s be the wise virgins and walk in the Light/Love/Grace of Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 13;  Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Edna’s miracle Baby Testimony! | Faith & Fertility   Leave a comment

Edna’s miracle Baby Testimony!

Posted on November 13, 2013 by Nerida Walker

Edna and Melvin’s miracle Baby Testimony!

I would like to glorify the name of Jesus through the testimony I am about to share. My husband and I were married in 2003. Prior to marriage we had planned to have a big family, at least 5 children. I remember sitting at a friends bakery one day (just a few months after I got married) and she was telling me about losing her pregnancies. I said in my heart, thank God these kind of misfortunes will never ever befall me. Little did I know the challenges that were ahead of us.

I became pregnant late 2003 and it was the most exciting news ever. I started spotting very early on in my pregnancy but I didn’t realize that this was an indication of something wrong. During the 3rd month of the pregnancy, I experienced severe bleeding in the bathroom and nearly passed out due to the blood loss. My 3 month old fetus then just fell to the ground. Being in a state of shock I was rushed to the hospital and a D&C was performed. My husband and I were devastated. Once out of the hospital, we tried to overcome the loss we went through by telling ourselves that this pregnancy was not God’s will for us.

We went on with our lives and in 2004, I became pregnant again. Excitement flooded us again when we found out but this lasted only  a few weeks. The familiar symptoms arose, I started spotting again at the 2nd month and was admitted to the hospital. I was put on some medication and rested. After a few days I was discharged to go home and was on bed rest. I started bleeding heavily the same night of the discharge. I was rushed to the hospital and when the doctor did a scan the baby had no heartbeat. The doctor decided to immediately do a D&C. We lost the pregnancy at the 2nd month. We were heartbroken once again, and went through the same routine as we did before, encouraging one another and comforting ourselves by saying that this was not meant to be. We continued back with life.

In 2005, I fell pregnant again but I didn’t allow the excitement to get to us. When I went in for a checkup, the doctor said that it was a blighted ovum. Once again, another disappointment. My husband and I started asking ourselves what was happening? Weren’t we faithful to God, going to church every Sunday. My husband was a worship leader in church. We read our bible, tithed and ensured we prayed whenever we could. We were so focused on our works for God and never on what He had done for us.

In 2007 we went for a holiday and when we returned, I found out I was pregnant. This time around we decided to change our obgyn. I went in from the start for my checkups and informed the doctor of my history (first trimester losses). He did all the necessary blood tests and everything was good. He could not say that anything was wrong with me. He started me with some medications ad injections to help secure the pregnancy at the first trimester as my problem seemed to present itself only at the first trimester. And lo and behold I completed my first trimester without any spotting. My husband and I were so excited as we had never gone past our first trimester and this was wonderful. We went out and bought some clothes for the baby. At the 20 week detailed scan the doctor informed us that we were having a baby girl. We were thrilled. At my 21st week, I got up one night with slight cramping. In my mind I convinced myself that it was practice contractions (Braxton Hicks) or maybe I just had a tummy upset as I was totally convinced that my issues were only at the first trimester. The pain persisted so I rubbed some ointment on my tummy but the pain never left. The pain started at 12 midnight and by 7am I started bleeding. I was in a state of panic, I woke my husband up and we rushed  to the hospital which was 5 minutes away. I was sent in to the emergency ward and the obgyn on call examined me. He said that my membranes had ruptured and it was hard to save the pregnancy. When a scan was done I saw my baby’s legs hanging out of my cervix. I was in a state of shock .An emergency procedure called a cervical cerclage was performed and I was then heavily sedated with painkillers. At around 12 midnight my water bag broke and my doctor had to remove the cerclage. I gave birth to my baby girl as she was too small to survive outside the womb she did not make it alive. My husband wrapped her up and took our dead baby back home. While I was still recuperating in the hospital, my family had a small funeral service for her and buried her. This was such a traumatic experience for us. I just wanted to die. It felt as if someone had reached into my heart and pulled it out, it hurt that much. My husband and I turned to each other for comfort. We were so tired of life and we wanted to just die. It hurt so much…We couldn’t even pray as we had run out of words. We asked God why He was allowing this to happen but we did not get any answers. With a heavy heart we picked up the broken pieces and continued on with life.

In 2008 I purchased God’s Plan for Pregnancy by Nerida Walker but didn’t pay much attention to it. My husband and I had plans to go to the US and Canada for a holiday that year. We purchased the tickets and applied for our visas. As we were preparing for our holidays, I found out that I was pregnant. This pregnancy really frustrated me as it was unplanned and it would disrupt our holiday plans. I was so angry with myself for getting pregnant and the thought of going through the pain of losing a pregnancy was still so raw to me. I was even tempted to abort the pregnancy. But I carried on and cancelled our plans to the US and Canada with much disappointment. We did some research to find a good doctor and found someone that specializes in treating women with various complications in pregnancies. We went in to see him and after listening to my history of pregnancy losses he came up with a plan on how to treat me for my first trimester. I completed my 1st trimester without much issues and entered my second trimester. During a routine check up at 16 weeks, my doctor found out that my cervix had opened up and surprisingly I wasn’t in any pain. I was rushed to the hospital and was warned not to move out of the hospital bed. I started bleeding profusely in the evening when I tried to go to the bathroom. The doctors immediately performed a cervical cerclage and I rested in the hospital. The doctors said that it might work as my membranes had not yet ruptured. My doctor performed a scan the next day but the baby had no heartbeat. The cercalage was removed and I delivered my baby boy at 16 weeks. The familiar feelings that comes with each losses flooded my husband and I once again. The heart ache and sorrow just swept over my husband and I. He took our little boy back home and when I was discharged, we buried him. Well meaning friends tried to help us by saying that there might be a generational curse in our family that we needed to renounce. My husband and I went on a journey trying to find out from both our parents where things could have gone wrong in our lineage and then we thought that was the key to us receiving our child. Maybe it was some idol worship in the past, or maybe someone had done an abortion and the curse had fallen on my husband and I. So this was our answer to what we went through. Never once did we have a revelation that Jesus had already borne ALL our curses and today as we believe in HIS finished work we are set free. But that revelation was not there for us yet.

During this time my husband and I started burying ourselves in our work as we held good positions in our respective area of work. This caused us to grow further apart from each other. Burying ourselves in work was our way of forgetting the sorrow and pain that we went through during the losses. We didn’t have the strength to comfort each other and this a loop hole in our marriage that allowed the enemy to sneak in and believe in a lie. The lie was that we were not meant to enjoy parenthood and that my husband and I should go our separate ways as we will never find happiness together. We bought into this lie as we did not have a good revelation of Christ and His Finished work for us. During this time my husband traveled a lot for work. This was perfect for us as we started living 2 separate lives. Our communication turned from bad to worse. We also stopped praying, reading the bible and continued going to church when he was around. Christianity wasn’t appealing to me anymore as it involved a lot of works on my part and both of us were tired. We did all the so-called right things but we seemed to be going through so much of heartache.

In 2010 I became pregnant again, this time around my doctor took extra precautions. He said that by the 13th week he would perform a cervical cerclage and it would help me carry the pregnancy full term. He finally diagnosed me with Cervical Incompetence, this is where the cervix opens up prematurely and most times women do not even feel any pain. At 13th week a cerclage was done and I was given treatment to strengthen and hold the pregnancy. Once I passed the 16th and the 24th week I was ecstatic. I told myself the cercalge is holding the pregnancy strong and nothing is going to happen this time around. For all my pregnancies I stayed at home as I was provided with compassionate leave by my office, so having complete bedrest wasn’t an issue.  I also used Nerida’s book as a guide.  I diligently quoted all the scriptures and said all the prayers. When I look back, they were just vain repetitions made due to my fear of the past losses. I did not have a revelation of the scriptures therefore I wasn’t truly meditating on them for my breakthrough. I got up one morning at my 24th week as there was a  strange pain in my belly. I went to the bathroom and there was some pinkish discharge. I felt scared and called up the clinic. I was asked if I had any contractions and I said yes, I was asked to come in to the clinic and they kept me for observation using a CTG machine. My doctor was away for a conference, therefore I was referred to another doctor for care. The CTG didn’t seem to pick up any contractions. By then the pain had already intensified. I was admitted to the hospital and while lying in bed the pain worsened to a point of being unbearable. My husband was abroad for for work during that time and I felt so loss without him by my side. I was given all kinds of medications to stop the contractions but the contractions continued. I was given an injection to help mature the baby’s lungs if the baby was born alive. Despite all the medications, the doctor’s could not prevent me from going into a full blown labor. My water bag broke at night and I was rushed into the operation theater. A neonatal doctor came in to prepare me if the baby came out alive, he asked if I would like the baby to be resuscitated. He informed me of all the complications involved if I had the baby at 24 weeks. It frightened me. The list went on from the baby being blind, deaf, mental retardation etc,etc…it was just too much to handle. What made it worst was the absence of my husband in making a joint decision. After hearing what the doctor had to say, I told him “Doctor please do not resuscitate the baby if she comes out alive”- those the most painful words that I had to utter. I felt so helpless and lost. I gave birth to my baby girl but she did not come out alive. They swaddled her and passed her to me to look at. It was so painful. No words could describe the pain. As my husband was not around, my brother took her back and when I got home we had a funeral service for her. Before I left the hospital, the doctor told me that I will never be able to carry a baby full term as my cervix was too weak and I have there may be an issue of me going into pre-term labor. She said that the only way was to get a surrogate to carry my baby full term or adoption. This was devastating news to me. This was it, I told myself that death was much better for me then going on with life. When we were burying her I felt that I belonged in that grave with her. I cried and cried for days. My husband did not return home immediately as he didn’t want to carry another dead baby back home. Our relationship was so strained that we could not even comfort each other anymore. It came to a point where we did not have much to say to each other.

Early 2011, my husband moved out to another country on his own due to work and I lived my life in Malaysia. This caused us to further drift apart. Sometime in May 2011, things between my husband and I got so bad that we were on the brink of getting a divorce. But the Lord was not going to let this happen. God started doing something in my life. As I was about to walk out of the marriage, I was reminded of the vow I took at the altar and that Jesus was going to partner with me in restoring my marriage. I went to where my husband was and told him where I stood in the restoration of our marriage and that I would not give up no matter what. I returned home and trusted the Lord to give my husband a change of heart. In August 2011, he quit his well paying job and returned home to Malaysia with the thought of trying to salvage what was left of our failed marriage. We never realized that the losses had actually taken such a great toll on us as individuals and as a couple. In November 2011, God began the process of restoring us as individuals, as a couple, our marriage and our home. He showed us the importance of how we needed to establish our home based on the word of God. I took unpaid leave from work and spent at least 5 months with my husband. We spent each day listening to the message of Grace and this gave us a total shift in the way we viewed God. It was no more how much we did for him but rather how much God does  for us through Christ Jesus. We had a better revelation of the love of God for us that He was willing to give up his only son so that we may enjoy all of heavens best. Because He gave us his best-Jesus, He will not withhold anything good from us. We spent time meditating on the finished work of Christ at the cross. Once this was at work in us, we walked in such freedom and there was a sense of lightness. The losses of the past were just swept away. The disappointments, the sorrow and sadness was lifted up. My husband and I enjoyed each other and our time together. God restored our marriage to a point that our love for each other was so much more sweeter then it was even before we got married. The cracks that were there before was not visible when Jesus intervened. Having children was not our priority anymore. It had always been a priority too us in the past, charting ovulation dates etc. But we learned to give it all up and just love life. We lived a let go life and enjoyed each moment of it. The whole of 2012 was a time of restoring our marriage.

December 2012, my husband and I went to US/Canada for a holiday. When I got back in January, I found out I was pregnant. This time around the excitement was there but it was filled with hope in the Lord and not what the doctors could do for me. I told the Lord, my trust is not in the medications or my cervix but my eyes are fixed on you Lord and your finished work on the cross. I decided that instead of being in fear, I would go to work and not stay home like previous pregnancies. I was happy, nothing frightened me. I didn’t even go to the doctors till my 3rd month. I was recommended medication for the first trimester but I declined it as I knew in my heart that Jesus was in the midst of the pregnancy and He was going to sustain the pregnancy for the 9 months. At 13 weeks the doctor recommended for a device called a pessary to be inserted at the neck of the cervix to hold it for the 9 months. There was no surgery involved. I was okay with it. The device was inserted and I went home. But not once did I put my trust in the pessary holding the cervix shut. Two days later, there was slight bleeding and I was besieged with fear of losing the pregnancy. We rushed to the hospital but ALL was well. As the 24th week (last loss) was approaching, fear gripped me once again but this time around my husband and I were prepared with the word of God and we knew the price that Jesus has already paid on the cross for us and no way were we going to lose this child as Jesus was holding him and that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Nerida’s book, God’s Plan for Pregnancy, meant so much to me this time around, the scriptures were alive and embedded in my heart. The miscarriage prayer was filled with authority when I said it. Jesus is so, so very faithful. His word is fulfilled to its very last dot. He never failed my husband and I. He who began a good work in us was so faithful to complete it for us! I was meant to deliver my son on 29 September, but God’s appointed time for his arrival was on 31 August 2013. He was born c-section. I remember that day, it was filled with so much of the peace of Christ that I was actually laughing while the c-section was being performed.

Isaac Hanan was born on 31 August 2013 at 1.55pm. Isaac means laughter and Hanan means Grace in Hebrew. We named him that because we are reminded that the Grace of God through Christ has brought much laughter in our lives. God reminds me of being a master builder. He first started working in our lives changing us and perfecting us as individuals. While that was going on he started working on us as a couple and restoring our marriage and our home. He then finally restored our bodies and made us whole to conceive our child and he carried us through the 9 months. While I was carrying Isaac, not once did my cervix shorten. It remained long and shut till the day he was born. My doctor did say for most women that have been diagnosed with an Incompetent Cervix that they would experience some shortening of the cervix during the pregnancy even with a cercelage. It was not the pessary that held the cervix but it was the mighty hands of Jesus. My husband and I are in our 40′s but God is no respecter of age. Our lives will never be the same again as we have tasted the Lord and He is so, so good. All glory and honor goes to Jesus for restoring to us the joy of our salvation.

Love, Edna

Edna’s miracle Baby Testimony! | Faith & Fertility

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